Reiwa-Era Middle-Aged Men Chose “Not to Be Disliked” Over Attractiveness — Cleanliness and Quiet Fatigue Behind the New “Ojisan” Image

【Category】 Society

日本語(original) | English version | 繁體中文（台灣）版 | Tiếng Việt

Hello everyone. This is Akira.

Thirty years of survey data reveal a dramatic shift in the image of middle-aged men in the Reiwa era.

According to a survey by Hakuhodo Institute of Life and Living, 73.4% of respondents felt that the image of men in their 40s and 50s has changed compared to more than ten years ago.

This figure is significantly higher than the 59.0% for women in the same age group.

In the past, the typical image of an “ojisan” (middle-aged man) was often associated with words such as “workaholic,” “company man,” “pillar of the family,” “no hobbies,” “unhealthy habits,” and “unkempt appearance.”

However, that image has now changed significantly.

The top descriptions today are “family-oriented / involved father (ikumen)”, followed by “exhausted / lacking margin”, and “clean / beauty-conscious.”

(1) From “Work Human” to “Ikumen”

The most significant change is the shift from “workaholic company man” to “family-oriented, involved father (ikumen).”

As dual-income households have become the norm, actively participating in housework and childcare is increasingly seen as the new standard for middle-aged men.

(2) From “Breadwinner Responsibility” to “Caregiving Responsibility”

Previously, an “ojisan” was expected to embody authority as the “pillar of the family.” Today, however, a flat and humble attitude, along with emotional care toward one’s wife and children, is expected.

The growing awareness of harassment has also contributed to a shift from the old “leading by silent example” style to communication based on dialogue and empathy.

(3) From “Unkempt” to “Cleanliness as Basic Manners”

In the past, being careless about appearance or having unhealthy habits was often tolerated. Now, “cleanliness and grooming consciousness” ranks high in people’s perception of middle-aged men.

What is important here is that this change is driven not by a desire to be attractive, but by the need to avoid negative impressions. Being intimidating or unkempt is now seen as a social risk.

For today’s “ojisan,” being polite and well-groomed has become a basic form of social manners.

(4) From “Work-Related Socializing” to “Personal Pursuits”

Previously, leisure activities such as golf were often extensions of work (client entertainment). Today, “pursuing hobbies and personal time” ranks high. Middle-aged men are increasingly seen as people who value time for themselves, separate from work.

(5) The Quiet Pathos Emerging in the Reiwa “Ojisan” Image

Behind these changes lies another reality that cannot be ignored.

Words such as “exhausted / lacking margin,” “herbivore / lacking drive,” and “lonely / lacking community” have newly appeared in the upper rankings.

The quiet fatigue and sense of isolation that arise from constantly being considerate — both at work and at home — in order to remain a “harmless presence.” This is another aspect of the current image of middle-aged men in Japan.

Can we simply dismiss this change as “becoming gentler”?

Reiwa-era middle-aged men are being asked to show unprecedented levels of consideration, while at the same time gradually losing their sense of self and personal space.

If you don’t mind, I’d like to ask you something.

Looking at the men in their 40s and 50s around you, what kind of “consideration” are they being forced to perform right now, and what kind of “margin” are they losing?

And how should we respond to this change and build relationships with them?

The answer cannot be forced by anyone.

What remains, perhaps, is simply to continue asking these questions — quietly, to ourselves and to the “ojisan” around us.

Akira

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